Acceptance

So... I'm so sorry I haven't blogged in forever. I guess I've been busy.

A lot of times, when I'm not really fond of a person and they're in my home, my shyness comes out in a really strange way. I get in this awkward "look away from them and not say anything at all" mode. That sounds so ridiculous, and really...IT IS ridiculous. I'm an overly nice person, so there is no reason for me to be rude... Often times, I find myself finding negative in mostly everybody I come in contact with, and I suppose it's a way of distancing myself from getting hurt.. that obviously doesn't work. Did I mention, most of the people who I am like this with, are people that have hurt me in some way or another? Could it be that I'm just surrounding myself with the wrong people? Don't get me wrong, there are a select few that I can tolerate and even love...I don't know, it really has me flustered?
I think I need to learn to accept and tolerate. If I can accept people, people can accept me. That's a good place to start.
Any suggestions for me?

Beauty is Skin Deep

Ok, so I just recently cut my hair to my shoulders after having it half way down my back for about 4 years... and can I just say... that people are so effing rude! They talk as if my hair was what made me who I am. I get comments like it looks alright but it looked so much better long. Regardless, I do get people who like it a lot better.. Now I know that people have a right to their own opinion but honestly, nobody should ever tell a girl that has shoulder length hair that girls with short hair look like boys... sorry, it's not right. Do I need to start saying to boys with long hair that they look like girls?? But they don't, so I guess I won't. When are people in this world going to learn respect?! And maybe I'm being a little overdramatic but I'm tired of people trying to downsize me... and this isn't just about hair.. the hair thing is just adding on to everything else that people try to down me on. Beauty comes from the inside-->out. It starts with your morals, your values, your kindness towards others, your respect for others, YOUR CHARACTER... nothing else. I learned it the hard way. Let's hope that you don't have to.

It's Time for a Change

You know, I'm not really sure what people get out of being rude. I mean, seriously, I don't care if you're having a bad day and need someone to take it out on. I've had many bad days and I don't take it out on other people. Everybody deserves respect. We are all people. It's time to start treating each other like it. One smile can make amother's day. So here is a smile from me to you. =D Pay it forward.

Inspiring Fortunes

Ok, who writes the fortunes in fortune cookies? Seriously; pure geniouses. I swear, every time I read my fortune, it seems to ALWAYS make sense. Like today for instance. My fortune was "Over every mountain there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley." Love it, so inspiring. I will eat Chinese food everyday just to read fortunes like that. Got any interesting ones?

Life is a Journey

I live day by day, week by week and maybe not to others, but for me, there is something wrong with that. I don't like not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow. I like to be in control of my life and at the moment I feel totally lost. I already got through my past but I feel like I relive it everday in my head... and the only thing I can say to myself is "Wow get the f*ck over it already!" God, I wish it was that easy. Saying is better than doing, and everything good is worth fighting for. I don't back down.

Opening Lines.

I'm not going to introduce myself, so you can just call me the Standard Wallflower. I created this blog in hope that people can share their experiences and just maybe find a friend to talk to when need be. Most of us, I'm sure, have had experiences in our lives that we just can't seem to erase from our minds. And if you haven't, then I'd say you're pretty lucky. So, I guess I'll start with some of mine...

I'm 22 years old. I've been a type 1 diabetic since I was 1, the daughter of a severe and in denial alcoholic, a person who takes EVERYTHING to heart and just can't seem to shake the need of making everybody else happy before herself, someone who fears failure yet sabotages her own success, and someone who absolutely NEEDS to let things go to move forward in life. I'm completely introverted but feel too complex to hold it in... So this is my "outburst." I'm hoping this may help and possibly help others along the way.

I'm not here to judge. Comment whatever you'd like. My problems are no worse or better than yours. Hurt is hurt, pain is pain, it all feels the same to everybody.

....burrrrr, It's getting so cold. I am not looking forward to winter.